13th october. it's not even 2 hours into my birthday and i've already got so many birthday messages, the cards are piling up ready to be opened when my birthday officially starts after i've slept, and i have birthday celebrations every day this week, one of which is a surprise treat organised by my lovely uni friends.






why do i feel so empty?

today, i moved in (or at least *tried*) to my room at Uni. those of you who read my poetry will know that i haven't cried in months thanks to my meds, so today made up for all that.

have JUST stopped crying now, after my parents took me back home. i started when i tried to join my housemates for dinner but, erm, my social phobia stopped me. that was 6 hours ago. so about 5 hours of continuous crying, i kid you not. i thought it was scientifically impossible to cry and eat but i managed that at dinner - they just wouldn't stop!

and now my tummy hurts.

no doubt i'll have plenty of freetime this next week so look out for some i-hate-Uni poetry coming soon hah.

gonna try to go back tomorrow, and get through monday to wednesday. i think that's more than enough of freshers week so will be coming home again on thursday!

seriously, i wish the course would just start already - it's so awkward and lonely when the only objective all day and night is to make friends. i don't think i've ever felt under so much pressure. i love my family way too much to move away from them.

this is also a warning: if you notice my poetry start to turn darker then point it out to me please! the last thing i need is to sink back down into depression having just cleared the bulk of it!

well, best be off to bed now, i have 3 more glorious days of friend-making to do, whoopee.

please tell me i'll get through this! any words of encouragement/experience would be worth everything right now ~x~

hello my friends! sorry about all this muddle with moving here from my old account, but i found out that my 'friends' had discovered my poetry on the old account and were just generally making fun of it and making me feel uncomfortable about having it up there.

never mind, it is up here now and i will be generally working from this account in future for poetry and sketches, etc all my favourite deviants should have been directed here via PM's as i still very much admire your work and appreciate your comments on mine!

hopefully this account will remain a secret from the people i know, and i can continue my writing in peace hurrah!